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susan goldfein

A Very Virtual Thanksgiving

11/15/2020

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With Thanksgiving less than two weeks away, I have been contemplating my table setting.  Some of the usual adornments shall remain the same.  I will order a lovely floral centerpiece.  I also plan on bringing out the special china reserved for such holidays, as well as the party silverware, even though the pieces require hand washing.  Nothing’s too good for this lavish family occasion.

And around the table I shall set three place settings: one for my honey, one for me, and one for my iPad, upon which we shall connect, in two dimensions, instead of three, with the rest of our family.

It pains me to think that my granddaughter who’s in college might be a spreader, or, for other family members, it might be dangerous to travel.  Therefore, there will be no “Over the river and through the woods” this year, because grandmother is vulnerable and her house is off limits!

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving in the time of COVID.  And this year it behooves us to follow CDC suggestions to avoid generating more cases.   It’s recommended that the holiday feast participants “should be limited to those who currently reside in the housing unit.”   And our housing unit includes just the two of us and Sam the Dog, whose place setting is typically under the table.

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for two does indeed create some challenges if you are a traditionalist.  I love the idea of turkey, but even a small 8 to 10 -pound bird means a lot of turkey sandwiches.  Perhaps I should encourage Sam to invite some friends, even if we can’t.

I’m rather surprised that in light of the current circumstance, Agribusiness hasn’t created a designer turkey especially suited for low-occupancy housing units.  For years, breeders have been doing this with dogs.   Mate a large dog with a small dog and get a smaller version of the original.   Tag the new version with the label “doodle” or “poo.”  Mostly it’s some breed or other with a poodle.  Why is it always a poodle? I’m starting to wonder about the morals of poodles!

In an effort to down-size the turkey, how about mating a Tom with, let’s say, a sparrow?  And even when COVID is behind us, I’m sure there will continue to be smaller households who would be delighted to be roasting a “turkow” and a lot less stuffing.

I wonder what Norman Rockwell would make of Thanksgiving 2020?  His representation of a beaming, multigenerational family around a table while grandma and grandpa proudly present the turkey, just doesn’t cut it this year.  Could he have ever imagined a digital American tradition? And if so, how would he have painted it?
​
Things are far from ideal this year but we are resilient.  Fortunately, there are iPads, iPhones, laptops, Zoom, and the rest of its ilk.   So we will have our first course with the Boston clan, turkey and trimmings with the Connecticut group, and pumpkin pie with the dears in New York.
​
And Sam? Maybe this year you get a place at the table after all.

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    About the Author

    Susan is the author of two award-winning collections of humorous personal essays: “How Old Am I in Dog Years?” and “How to Complain When There’s Nothing to Complain About.”  Check out her Author Page HERE.

    Follow Susan on her web site:  www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com  
    Facebook:  www.facebook.com/UnfilteredWit/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnfilteredWit 

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  • Home
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      • Elisabetta's
      • Oliv Pit Athenian Grille
      • Cupcakes >
        • Lady Bug Cupcakes
    • News >
      • 2019 North Palm Beach Fireworks Show
      • 2018 Palm Beach Holiday Boat Parade
      • Brightline >
        • Brightline Dino Train
        • Polar Express 2019
        • Breezin' on Brickell
        • Brightline Day Trips: Frost Science Museum
        • A Trip on Brightline
        • Brightline Select Service
        • Brightline Tasting Train
        • Brightline Train Unveiling
        • Brightline Topping Out
        • The Polar Express Train Ride
        • Richard Branson at Brightline
      • David Drebin
      • Downton Abbey Exhibit
      • The Lubben Brothers
      • History >
        • 25th Anniversary
        • 50th Anniversary
      • North Palm Beach Country Club
    • Weather >
      • Hurricane Readiness
  • Cruise News
    • Cruise Compete
    • Atlas World Navigator >
      • Atlas World Navigator Part Two
    • Azamara Quest
    • Bahamas Paradise Cruise Line >
      • Grand Celebration Cruise
      • Grand Classica Inaugural Cruise
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        • Carnival Horizon Pig and Anchor
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      • Carnival Mardi Gras
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        • Carnival Sunrise Cruise to Bermuda
        • The Chef's Table on Carnival Sunrise
      • Carnival Studios >
        • Carnival Studios - Behind the Scenes Tour
      • Carnival Victory
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        • Carnival Vista Craft Beer
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      • Celebrity Apex
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      • History of Cunard
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      • MasterChef at Sea
    • Oceania Riviera
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    • River Cruising in Germany - The Ms. River Splendor >
      • River Cruise in Germany -- Mainz and Koblenz
      • River Cruising in Germany - The Romantic Rhine
      • River Cruise in Germany - Heidelberg
      • River Cruising in Germany - Wurzburg
      • River Cruising in Germany - Bamberg
      • River Cruising in Germany - Nuremberg
      • River Cruising in Germany - Regensburg
    • Scarlet Lady - Virgin Voyages
    • SeaTrade Cruise Global 2019
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      • AtmosFX Digital Decorations
      • Calypso Cruise
      • Pumpkin Patch 2017
      • Reindeer Games
      • River Paddle Event
    • Brian Wilson: Life in the UK >
      • Life in the UK - Bath, England
      • Life in the UK - Croquet
      • Life in the UK - Music in Russia
      • Life in the UK - Sri Lanka
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      • Life in the UK - US Embassy
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    • Empire State Road Trip
    • Flagler Museum
    • The Florida Keys >
      • Key West
      • The Hemingway House and Museum
    • Joe Cartwright - Travel Writer >
      • Beartooth Highway
      • North Cascades National Park
      • A Visit to the Philippines
      • Grand Canyon National Park
      • Glacier National Park
      • Yellowstone National Park
      • Hiking in Bear Country
      • Crater Lake National Park
      • Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta
      • The Kerrville Folk Festival
      • Building Hope in the Rio Grande Valley
    • Island Destinations
    • Lake Okeechobee Picnic
    • October Odyssey >
      • Cartagena, Columbia
      • Panama Canal
      • Antigua, Guatemala
      • Cabo San Lucas
      • Birds and Bees Speakeasy in Los Angeles
      • We Love LA
      • Coast Starlight
      • Napa Wine Tour
      • California Zephyr
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      • Road Trip! - Mogollon Rim
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      • Road Trip! - Palm Springs Aerial Tramway
      • Road Trip! - Festival in Palm Springs
      • Road Trip! - Willcox, Arizona and Apple Annie's Orchard
      • Road Trip! Willcox Wineries
      • Road Trip! Chiricahua National Monument
      • Road Trip! Tombstone, Arizona
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      • Unknown Yellowstone - Avalanche Peak
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