Evolving through love

By Palika Trudeau, M.A. in Psychology

Question:
My wife and I have the desire to interact with other partners and go outside the marriage to fulfill fantasies. But at the same time, we are a little afraid. Should we do it or not?

Answer:
 I believe this question is a matter of pain vs. pleasure. So from this point of view let’s observe one man’s exploration. First some background:  Attractive and successful guy. His wife: Beautiful. Their chemistry: Very good. But over time they got rather bored.

Unfortunately, love, plenty of money and good looks didn’t keep their connection strong. So they explored the swinging culture. It definitely brought some bang back to their marriage. However, this tale is one of pleasure turned to pain and misery. The mistrust and feelings of insufficiency that grew between them was beyond anything they ever imagined possible. It almost drove them to divorce…So, his advice? Not to do. It simply caused too much unexpected suffering.

Well then, what to do?

Often it is personal shortcomings that create issues and a lack of connection in relationships. These uncomfortable situations can be viewed as valuable life lessons… which when avoided, only knock louder in the form of more discomfort. And since unresolved matters interfere with fulfilling intimacy, a dose of personal fine-tuning can significantly boost your intimate connection.

Relationships are wonderful for evolving because the conflicts that occur with in it show us precisely where we need to improve. They act as a magnifying glass so we can quickly become aware of both our strengths and weaknesses. Life presents lessons for our progress and development. And when a lesson is sincerely faced…it delivers the fruits of our advancement in forms such as fulfillment …and then that particular lesson… happily goes away.

If we wish for the satisfying feeling of sustained connection and great intimacy with our lover- then it pays to face our shortcomings, refine our selves and develop our higher natures.

So instead of getting sidetracked with various superficialities and detours, why not cruise down the path of least resistance by enthusiastically evolving with in our loving relationship?

Tips for harmonious evolution in love

1. Choose a compatible partner and create a culture of mutual respect, appreciation, and growth.
2. Communicate honestly and regularly- but avoid criticism- which is toxic for love- Share concerns in the form of caring suggestions.
3. Be introspective: Look at yourself and notice how you want to evolve.
4. Be progressive and grow the qualities you desire by:

First, getting a deeper understanding of the quality you wish to internalize. Example: Compassion -what are the elements of compassion? What does compassion feel like?

Secondly, intentionally be of service to others while being very present and conscious of your chosen quality. Example: Listening to someone in the mood of compassion.

Thirdly, be consistent and patient…and with gratitude, watch the quality grow with in you.

Relationships can be both stimulating and inspiring when people are progressive in their personal evolution, committed to being their highest self, and using these beautiful qualities to be of service.

About Palika

Palika Trudeau, M.A. in Psychology, is a relationship specialist. She is both an educator and in private practice. In her work with corporations, individuals, and private couples retreats, her extensive training and background in Eastern philosophy, paired with her education in modern psychology, gives her a unique perspective and approach to human development and life transformation. Trudeau works with an international, elite clientele, and specializes in creating sustainable, high quality relationships, helping clients quickly solve core problems and consciously create the life they want.

Website: palikatrudeau.com

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When people have levels of disconnection, it affects their well-being, energy levels and focus"